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“When I was younger, and my father found me in bed after my mother had said or done something to send me there, he would sit for a moment by my feet and tell me, in an awkward, conciliatory way, that it wasn’t my mother’s fault. She was sad, and worried, and she had been sad and worried for a long time, so I had to try harder to be a good, thoughtful child.” — Farah Ali, The River, The Town: A Novel, 2025

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If you are conciliatory toward someone, you’re trying to win that person over to your side, usually by making them less angry. The verb conciliate was borrowed into English in the mid-16th century and descends from the Latin verb conciliare, meaning “to assemble, unite, or win over.” Conciliare, in turn, comes from the noun concilium, meaning “assembly” or “council.” Conciliatory, which appeared in English a bit later in the 16th century, also traces back to conciliare, and is used especially to describe things like tones, gestures, and approaches intended to turn someone’s frown upside down. Another word that has conciliare as a root is reconcile, the earliest meaning of which is “to restore to friendship or harmony.”